"We all need someone to help us up onto the swing"

In July 2018, Futuro Lleno de Esperanza welcomed four international interns to live and work with and in our community. They've been asked to share their experience in the form of a blogpost.

If you are interested in experiencing the Dominican Republic in the summer of 2019, we will be launching our intern applications in the coming weeks. We strive to offer low cost international experiences for teenagers that benefit both our community and the interns development and growth.

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It’s been about a 50 days since I returned from a long, exhausting, unpredictable and wonderful trip to the Dominican Republic. Looking back at the substance of the time spent there is easy: I can list off what I did, the camps we put on with Futuro and the cultural norms that I picked up on.  A panoramic view of my time there looks exciting, but all in all, fairly simple. But that doesn’t feel right. It’s difficult to describe precisely what I learned with Futuro, and as a new college, new town, new friends, and a new life have begun for me back in the States, the feeling from the DR has faded a bit more. But, it’s not gone. And it is worth talking about.

            For those unfamiliar, Futuro Lleno de Esperanza (FLE) is a not-for-profit, faith-based organization in Santiago, Dominican Republic. I spent my time specifically at the Cienfuegos chapter of FLE, in the largest urban subsector of Santiago. Futuro’s primary ministry is based in service and mission work towards Haitians in the Dominican Republic. The reasons for that are many, and the current issues surrounding Haitians in the DR is worth looking into, if you’re interested. However, FLE Cienfuegos is a bit different and has evolved, as a function of its location, into a preschool and community center serving a Dominican population. FLE Cienfuegos supplies early educational opportunities for children, nutritional programs and much more to its adjacent community. Most of all, however, it’s a safe place to play and a glimpse into something more.

            The idea for me to intern at Futuro first originated towards the end of a week long mission trip at FLE with St. Marks Venice youth group (shoutout to the amazing Jackie Overton). Towards the end of that week, the idea of me returning, alone, to intern for a longer period of time came up. Then it disappeared for a while. Eventually, months later, after much conflict and indecisiveness, I decided that I would in fact spend most of July interning at Futuro. High school ended, summer began, and soon enough I was on a plane to Santiago.

            This post isn’t meant to be an aggregate composite of many daily journal entries. I could spend pages on many days of corner store trips, adventures around the country, nights at the car wash, flagging down rides and more. If you’re interested, give me a shout! (or better yet Melanie - she has far better stories than me) I’m also sad that I’m not going to devote pages to the fabulous other interns I spent time with - Anni, Lee, Chris and Alex. They rock. I also won’t try and delve into explaining the culture of poverty and the cycle of need. Instead of all that, I want to focus on one big idea that dominated the trip: dependence.

            Many of the children in Cien Fuegos, specifically the boys, look hardened. Not just in their thick calluses but in their swaggering walk, scrunched up faces and rough shouts. It seems like they use everything in their being to exude toughness. They start fights, yell at each other and lose their tempers quickly. They’re also mostly less than eight years old. However, despite how independiente they work to appear, there’s always moments where the dependent child gleams through. I remember one day, a 6 year old boy named Angel sauntered into the playground. He stopped upon entering, taking a moment to stand tall and survey the area. Then, with fists balled tightly, he walked all the way over to the swing set and said, in a high pitched, earnest voice, “arriba!” and jumped up and down, eagerly asking for help getting onto the swingset.

I entered into this experience feeling pretty good about myself. I was a young, independent international traveler who was doing service in a foreign country. I was going to have all of these cool experiences of adventuring and exploring. What I had forgotten about was how utterly dependent I was, and that my independence didn’t look exactly as I had imagined. Time in Santiago slapped me in the face with my inadequate Spanish, my cultural confusion, my shyness in talking to strangers, my lacking cooking ability and vast failure at mastering public transportation. I was not and am not independent. I am so dependent on others (thank you Melanie) to help me.

My exit from the Dominican and enrollment in college has heightened my understanding of dependence in my life. And I’m being reminded that, ultimately, Christ is the only one that can fulfill my needs. Dependence on Him gets me through the school day, puts social and career anxiety to peace, leads to abundant life experience. Dependence on Him, prevents resource scarcity in the Dominican from driving us insane. It reminds us that we are just a part of Him, and the little that we can do has infinite meaning that we cannot see. Dependence on Him reminds me that the very act of going to the Dominican was a gift from Him, and not of my own doing. I’m still struggling with my desire to be an independent adventurer in life, but my time at Futuro taught me that, at the end of the day, we all need someone to help us up onto the swing.