"We don't want to be a fortress"

I arrived at the school at 9am. I was stopped by our intern, Lee, who was trying to communicate something crazy to me. Something about popcorn and the kitchen and I don't even know what else. Then, Raquel, our vice principal, comes around the corner.

"They didn't steal anything."

I'm still confused and wondering what is going on. I have a Korean-English-Spanish story in one ear, and Raquel's simple words in the other.

"Stop. What?"

Apparently, during our long weekend break, a group of people decided that the schoolyard was theirs and jumped the fence to enter. Not only did they jump the fence, they broke the locks on the kitchen door and helped themselves to our facilities. They burnt all of the popcorn, consumed all of the ketchup, and then disconnected the hose from the gas tank and filled the kitchen with the sooty black oil of propane gas. As if they wanted to waste everything, they then opened the spigots and let the water flow freely until the water tank was left empty.

Beyond the popcorn and ketchup, nothing was technically stolen. The gas and water were "used" but not taken from us. The police weren't willing or able to do much to help us.

It might seem simple - some "kids" jumped a fence and vandalized our space. But it's not simple, and it has been eating at me all week. We have tried so hard to create a space that is safe and welcoming to the community. We've tried not to cover our walls with broken glass (a common defense mechanism for cinderblock walls) or line the periphery with barbed wire. Last year, we had cameras and an alarm installed, but these do nothing to the aesthetic of the school. We didn't want the safe space to have to look like a prison to be... well, safe.

Since the beginning of the summer, our neighbor has been siphoning water from our holding tank. Water is expensive, and it's necessary for the school. Numerous times kids have jumped our fences and spread our trash all over - probably looking for "treasures," but creating chaos in the schoolyard for our staff to clean up the next day: time spent away from the true job of teaching and loving our students. One of the cameras got pulled out of its socket, and there's just been a mess of things going on.

Luckily, these occurrences have all been inconvenient, but not terrible. Annoying, but not life threatening. Budget bending, but not breaking. Even still, the popcorn party has bothered me a lot. I haven't been able to get out of my own head because this violation - the breaking of locks and sheer waste of resources - to me, has been worse than if they perpetrators actually stole something.

I've looked to friends for support - but I try not to talk too much about the undesirable parts of our community for fear that our visitors won't feel safe. It's also hard to understand my frustration without understanding the community and our role in it. I've searched in the Bible for wisdom, and everything I've found doesn't seem to apply in this situation.

We do not want to be a fortress. But it seems like, in order to protect our resources, we will have to build higher walls and buy stronger locks. Proverbs tells us that we have to trust wisdom and she will never let us down - and so wisdom is saying we need to protect the safe space so that we can continue to provide a refuge to those who come to us. It means we will have to work harder to be more welcoming, to open our doors more frequently, and to be the light we have always desired to be.

It is hard to find a balance, a balance between being welcoming and protecting ourselves and those we love. Open hearts lead to open hands, but - I'm learning - just because I open my hands doesn't mean I should not protect what I hold for those who most need it, and to protect it from those who would damage it.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." -- 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9